I completely understand why people who go abroad may have troubles writing in their respective blogs with frequency. I was used to my routine, and although there were so many exciting things that I could have written about on a practically daily basis, at the time the things that I repeated so much seemed too redundant and mundane to mention. However, that’s quite far from the truth! As soon as my monthly update was due in November, I made a last minute decision to return to Nebraska. I decided it was going to be a surprise, at least for most of my family, my mom and my two best friends.
The time in Nebraska was in many ways, exactly what I expected and needed. Chowing down on all the nasty greasy foods I had missed in 4 months—my favorite being the classic Amigo’s cheesy burrito accompanied by a big, fat, icy Dr. Pepper. Also, what the heck, they’ve got “Grown-Up” cheesies now? Out of sheer curiosity and with extreme skepticism, I ventured and tried the southwest chicken cheesy. One might compare Amigo’s decision to do this with Nickelodeon’s decision to make Rugrats: All Growed Up. Epic fail, plus they both misguide children. Rugrats, obviously, teaches kids that you can always play with your Reptar dinosaur toy (Milan, New York, London Reptar’s on the rage…anyone?) and that when you are GROWN up it’s still ok to pretend like you’re a toothless moron and call yourself a “growed” up. I’m sure many companies would love reading and application that says, “I want this job cause mom says I have to be a growed up.” How could you resist that adorableness? The grown-up cheesy, however, goes even farther, by changing the complete morale of children, teaching them to always have to be satisfied with more. Something bigger, something better, something with charbroiled chicken and imported Texan spices. Did I mention Texas is its own country now? I guess soon Obama will call for an embargo and then adopted Cuba as the missing state. Wow, I could write such a sassy opinion article on cheesy burritos, Rugrats or the ever-so-popular Cuba/Texas conflict.
Besides all that, other comforts awaited me. All my old haunts were still there, the cozy little nook on N. Lakeshore Dr. that still felt like home, my mom and my brother who treated me like an angel while I was in town, and the quality time with Rachael and Paul was refreshing for me. Although my friends in Spain and my time here is absolutely magical and I am so glad it isn’t over, it was funny that something so simple as a completely comfortable and natural relationship could bring so much happiness. Even just speaking English and having someone understand EVERY WORD I SAY, and being able to be myself completely without having to explain everything again was so nice. Being here has made me realize who and what things are truly important to me. I got to see a lot of my other friends, too, who are just as amazing, and I was also able to spend a few evenings with my dear cousins.
It was still, however, a bit strange to be at home. It took me 2 weeks to fully recover from my jetlag—usually falling asleep at 9 pm and bolting awake at 7 am. Or maybe that is normal, but Erika really wanted to stay up late and sleep in, you know, like, be a normal 20-year-old and not a 60-year-old. While at home for an entire month, there was a battle going on within my heart for two different worlds, two different ways of living. All I do know at this moment is that people really make a place what it is, and there are people in Nebraska that I would hate to have to be apart from for the rest of my life. I feel that way about my friends in Spain, as well, but you befriend them on the preconceived notion that you must one day give up the intimate relationship you have formed. And to me, it does make it a little bit easier, because I am prepared for the idea of one day having to say goodbye. But saying goodbye to your mother or your best friends is something that feels so unnatural, so unreal and so much like you are leaving a part of you behind—it is extremely hard. No matter how many times you do it, it’s always going to be hard, and I’ve just had to learn to deal with that as I also learn to tame my wanderlusted heart.
The trek back to Spain came at a good time. The voyage back was not the most physically tiring trip I have ever made, but it was definitely the most emotional I have ever been on a voyage. My heart is in a state of confusion right now. A lot of things happened in Nebraska, a lot of unexpected things were said and done, and I found out something right before boarding my first plane that made my heart ache more than it ever had before. The details are too personal for such a general blog, but by the time I got to Spain after 36 hours of not really sleeping at all and having my heart, mind and soul ache for so many different reasons, when I entered my empty, cold, apartment, I just started bawling. Not because I was sad to be back, but because I was confused and lonely.
Thankfully, my friend Johanne came over my first night in town and took care of me and gave me beautiful Christmas gifts, made me dinner, and listened to me (in English, thank God) talk about my life. It was so nice to see her smiling Frenchy face after a whole month! She is ma petite fleur! :) The first night back in my piso was almost eerie feeling, especially because the heating wasn’t working and my roommate wasn’t back from France yet, but it is rather surprising just how quickly I have fallen back into my routine: wake up, go to class, talk with colleagues, go home, lunch, plan activities, do whatever I want to do, God time, reading time, fun time, walk on the beach time, roommate time, whatever, shopping, make dinner, facebook, sleep. It’s def. the life! I can’t believe that Nebraska stressed me out so much in the short amount of time that I was there, and now that I am back here the stress has been lifted once again. Oh, the sweet freedom of Laredo, how I hope I learn from you and never become that high-strung stressed girl from years past!
The classes are fine. I have been doing a lame activity I prepared on the airplane that I can apply to practically all of my classes…I show them a slideshow of 15 photos I took over Christmas & New Years in Nebraska, they have to ask me questions, then I ask them questions about Christmas, New Years and Kings Day in Spain. Christmas is spent with their families and in the Cantabrian region at least they have lots of little “entremeses” or hors d’oeuvres that usually involve seafood (shrimp, crawfish…), followed by soup and then the main event of lamb or some other meat. New Year’s is also a family-centered holiday with more food, and at each 12 strikes of the clock at midnight they are to eat a grape to promote health for the upcoming year. They do not open their gifts on Christmas; they do this on Kings Day on the 6th of January. Some kids will dress as the kings and go and sing Christmas Carols for money, others participate in the city parade. I do believe it is translated as “Kings Day” in English, but my colleagues are often wrong when they tell me certain things in English, nonetheless, the day is in celebration of the three wise men that visited the little babe in his swaddling cloth! And that’s your kind of boring cultural lesson for the day.
I then made them write their own New Year's resolutions (buenos propósitos de Año Nuevo), here are the ones that made me laugh most:
*I pass the asignatures (Spanish for "all subjects")
*Have money, a lot of money.
*Behave better with Cristina and not act like a silly.
*I want don't speak in class.
*I win a lot of money—6,000 Euros o más.
*I pass the French, OK?
So, I am all readjusted to life here again. I’m sitting on the couch, super tired and jet-lagged, too lazy to do ANYTHING and hating the pouring rain and crazy hurricane wind that has blown down 2 metal mini billboards and some smaller trees today. I already know this next year is going to be full of a lot of really good things, but it is going to take a lot of spiritual warfare on my part, because I am being attacked. I’ve already started losing hope on some things that I know have been promised to me. Hopefully, once the rain lifts, so will this heavy weight on my heart. In fact, I just got a text from my roommate saying he will be back in less than 3 hours, so to buy him some beers so we don't lose our good old customs. Hahaha.
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